In my work I use A LOT of pink and I fuck heavily with aesthetic. I want to explore my reasons for my colour choices and aesthetic and hopefully realise whether it still has a place in the art I create. First and foremost I take inspiration from the internet. This line of research and inspiration can be limited as I stick with a feed that I have curated. Even when I venture into the explore page or end up on another artists page it has been curated by my own activity through algorithms. This keeps me in a bubble of aesthetic and things I find visually appealing which filter through to my own work.
Another reason I stick to certain aesthetics and colours is to keep a flow through my work. For me, I feel as though keeping a certain style within the visual language I create to illustrate my ideas gives it an identity that will help the work be identified to me as an artist by the audience. This probably comes from a deep narcissism which makes me feel like I wont get the validation for the work I put out into the world. Also, the instagram grid for a person with OCD is an unhealthy place. Keeping similar colour schemes keeps my instagram feed looking smart and gives it a brand identity while keeping my OCD repressed.
When I think about a visual language I can use to share my ideas and thoughts on topics like female sexuality and emotional labour I am drawn to the colour pink and other soft pastel colours as well as easy to look at images. I now need to ask myself why I do this. I believed that I chose pink and soft colour palettes, images of flowers and popular internet aesthetics for context and narrative. An attempt to reclaim the colour pink is probably my biggest lie. This global reclamation of pink has become a phenomenon which began with women and men subverting traditional gender roles to challenge how we view gender. The colour pink has now become a brand of feminism which is specifically for rich white skinny cis women which is not intersectional or progressive. It has also been co opted by major brands, streetwear and anyone that wanted to use gender politics to gain financial and social capital. Flowers are a motif I repeated due to them being used as gifts for women and flowers are seen as delicate and feminine. Perfumes scented like flowers and comparing women to roses gave me a need to use images of flowers within parts of my work and social media feeds because I have always enjoyed using symbolism and inserting symbols into works that create a new meaning for them.
Internet imagery is something I feel is important in my work as I look at self identity and how we perform it through social media. Using snippets of the internet and real life experience makes my work relevant and powerful. The lo-fi aesthetic in my work happened by accident as I use very basic tools and phone apps to create my collages. It wasn’t until someone pointed out to me that the lo-fi aesthetic was something reminiscent of the internet subculture “seapunk” which originates from tumblr. This comment is what sparked my desire to pick apart my work.
I use my own body to explore ideas of femininity as it looks different to the ideals sold to us through the mainstream media. I also use my own body to explore ideas about female sexuality because my body has been criticised by men all my life, before and after I let them have sex with me. I use my awkward and beat down body, unexercised and uncared for, to illustrate the traumas I have experienced in an attempt to give others like me less trauma. This is body positivity but not the kind being co opted by brands and businesses as a marketing tool. This is about taking back my body from the male gaze and giving it away under my own terms.