It is the unsettling dreams which I often remember the most. Submerged, struggling in a deep black ocean or a fantasy chase floating within the clouds treading invisible water, lost, alone, unable to move.
In 2015 what started again as visions of a struggle ended by waking me from a deep sleep in what I can only describe as an outcry. I experienced a non figurative vision of my grandfather calling out to me for help. Ruptured by the unsettling moment I acted with instinct arranging immediate transportation for an un-invited next day visit. On arrival the mood was tense, greeted with ghosty faces I found my grandfather in a state of disarray unable to recognise who I was. I felt like I was inside a surrealist painting by Edvard Munch. A few weeks later he passed. Feeling helpless, ashamed, selfish and angry I had to find away to channel my emotions.
I wasn’t looking for condolence, I wanted a celebration. A monumental shared moment of collaborative intimacy.
“The sign is always less than the concept it represents. While a symbol always stands for something more than its obvious and immediate meaning. Symbols moreover are natural and spontaneous products. In dreams symbols occur spontaneously. For dreams happen and are not invented. They are there fore the main source of all our knowledge about symbolism. Carl Jung. Approaching The Unconscious – Sign vs symbol.
“Till Death do us part”.
A recorded performance as sculpture – The final exchange as re-birth through transition with my deceased grandfather. Visiting the open casket, a cast of my hand holding his in a symbolic act of love respect and gratitude.