I take a bath once every four years. I’m not a cultist, it just sort of happens. I prefer showers. However, as I lay stewing in the warm waters of my own filth, I think about the glamorisation, glorification, romanticisation and fetishisation of dying in a bathtub. A beloved metaphor, a beautiful, peaceful suicide or a gruesome, nightmarish murder.

“And it isn’t hard to see why the bathtub or shower would be such a common place for murderers to show up. Bathing is when you’re at your most vulnerable; relaxed, alone, naked, possibly with water in your eyes, in a small room that usually has one door and no windows.” Thanks tvtropes.org

Bathing/showering goes hand in hand with existentialism, for everyone. I like to shower whilst replaying a thousand scenarios, having a thousand conversations, thinking about mortality and immortality and other super deep and important philosophies that I can’t name or have ever read about. I’ve had epiphanies, mental break-downs, wanks and I’ve always came out cleaner.

So this is perhaps why I would like my next piece to involve a bathtub, I want to milk that trope dry till those proverbial nipples turn into cosmic dust.

Here’s a collection of images of bath time fun. I also looked at real life ‘dead people in a bath’ and although it was beautiful, I feel most people wouldn’t use that word.

 

Ani Mkrtchyan