2.1号，我们举行了线上展览，International festival, 这是我第一次参加线上展览，在还没开始我的研究生学习之前，我想着我们可以在切尔西举办很多次展览，亲眼看看同学们的作品，和同学们面对面讨论想法，可以在英国看很多的展览，去欧洲旅游、看展。但是疫情打乱了所有计划和常态，加上家里突然发生的事故，让我陷入绝望之中。而这个过程，我必须完成自我拯救，这个过程痛苦而又漫长…….
On the 2.1th, The MAFA family held an online exhibition, International festival. This is my first time to participate in an online exhibition. Before I started my MA studies, I thought we could hold many exhibitions in Chelsea and see my classmates’ works in physical, discuss ideas face-to-face, and can visit many exhibitions in the UK, travel and go to exhibitions in Europe. But the pandemic disrupted all plans and normalcy, and the accident happened at my home made me fall into despair. In this process, I must complete self-salvation, healing myself, this process is painful and long…
International festival 的展览中，策划展览的同学们把我的作品归类到healing中，我非常的惊喜，因为这刚好是我正在做的事情！每个人承受痛苦的能力不同，寻求自愈的方式也不同，这个过程中，我们需要不断的重新在自己心中建立一个新的体系，放低期待值，在困境中寻求一些安慰，并重新设定一个期待值，让自己相信熬过这段时间就好了，一切就会恢复正常了。而这个过程中，只有自己能拯救自己。
In this exhibition, the classmates who planned the exhibition classified my works into the healing. I was very pleasantly surprised because this happened to be what I was doing! Everyone has different ability to endure pain and different ways of seeking self-healing. In this process, we need to constantly rebuild a new system in our hearts, lower our expectations, seek some comfort in difficult situations, and reset An expectation value, let yourself believe that it will be better after this period of time, and everything will return to normal. In this process, only you can save yourself.
My self-healing process is to replace my previously imagined life with something more ordinary and relatively easy to achieve by lowering my expectations. For example, I used to feel that I could have a perfect study abroad experience and find a satisfactory job after graduation and happy family life. In the face of helpless objective factors, I can only constantly lower my expectations for life. At first I thought that the pandemic would end soon, and then return to a normal life as soon as possible, so that I could travel with my family. And then I hope I can graduate smoothly and my family is safe and healthy. Then I think I can successfully complete one assessment or one work at a time. Until now, I hope that today I will not be so sad and my family and friends will not have accidents. This sounds like a very negative process, as if it has nothing to do with self-healing. However, when I keep lowering my expectations, I am constantly giving myself a chance to be reborn. Because you will convince yourself that I can still meet this requirement at the moment, and I won’t be able to suffocate myself because it is difficult to meet my expectations.
One of my work in unit1, My Ceremony With Birds. I prayed and ritual to seek help from the outside world, praying that people would be free as soon as birds. This is actually a process of dialogue with yourself, and this unknown power actually comes from yourself, your own heart. When you believe that there is an unknown power to help yourself, it is actually when you acquire new power with yourself. At this time, this power is given to you by yourself and it was nothing to do with others.
People will constantly establish an expectation value, a cognitive system for the outside world in their lives, and then constantly change this expectation value during the growth process, breaking the old cognitive system and establishing a new cognitive system. The process is also a person’s process of change and a complicated mental journey. Next, I think I might continue to study this, studying how people experience the process of self-healing and how to re-establish a new cognitive system.